#nofiltervacation
We went on a family vacation a few weeks ago with our extended family of 18 and posted some favorite photos after returning home. Waterfalls, cozy fireside singing, kayaking, and dinners where everyone helped cook and serve were just a few posted on social media. And we did all those things.
But in an effort to dispel any myths of the perfect family vacation, I want to share some #nofilter thoughts with this family of readers. Highlighting some things that we didn’t post about, but also sharing some tactics that helped us maneuver each potential vacation landmine. I’m not sure all of these were conscious choices, but rather things we learned from previous trips together and by doing life together regularly. By sharing candidly, my hope is it will help some of you who are packing right now for vacation and dreading it or trying to figure a way out of sharing time with extended family.
Some of our #nofiltervacation moments were:
Personal ideas and traditions for the vacation sometimes need to shift, even at the last minute. When we last vacationed together five years ago, I assigned the grandchildren in pairs to lead morning devotions and rewarded them with homemade ice cream each night. Hoping we could repeat those sweet moments this year, I typed up new assignments and put the ice cream maker on my packing list. Except the day we were leaving, the hubby & I could not find the ice cream maker anywhere in the garage! Rather than delay our leaving, I said ‘Well, we will just buy ice cream.” Then, when we got settled in our mountain house, I realized the grandkids were now mostly teens and did not want to get up early and produce a morning devotion. Instead, they enjoyed staying up later playing “Mafia” and sleeping in each morning. I tossed my printed assignments and enjoyed listening to them pray over meals. Ice cream from Ingles was still a treat each night, with a lot less work.
Sharing expectations before you go helps everyone think ahead. We were at a school awards night the week before vacation when Jess asked the adults: “What are your hopes for vacation?” Just asking the question made each of us think about our expectations and verbalize them. As each family member shared, I realized I hadn’t thought about my desired outcomes. The next day as I journaled and asked God, I knew that making memories was my primary goal for the trip. Writing that one goal down ahead of time, helped me release other ideas and focus on memory-making each day.
Hold space for the unexpected, communicate often, and speak life. One of our families had a round of a nasty stomach virus hit some of them just before they traveled on vacation. The mom called the rest of us to inform, asked what we thought and delayed their arrival by a day. We decided to quarantine the one still sick child for a day and sanitize often. Even with our best efforts, two other family members got sick during vacation, requiring a trip to the hospital for one. Each time, we spoke life saying “We have 18 people and someone is likely to be sick.” Or “We could get germs anywhere, even at the Ingles.” Another unexpected problem was on our day-trip to the waterfalls, where we had a full day planned to visit several locations. Mid-day, a radar check showed a storm blowing in and after checking with everyone, we called an audible and returned to our vacation house.
Did we have a picture-perfect family vacation? Not by a long shot! But did we shift goals, make memories, roll with the unexpected, and speak life every day? Yes, we did. And most of us agreed this vacation was much easier than five years ago simply because many of the grandchildren are now 14+ and able to help make the memories but also help take out the trash or make grocery runs. We each found quiet spaces and times to do the things that would bring us joy, knowing at other times we would be selflessly serving. So if you’re in the hard years with infants and toddlers, hang in there Moms and Grandmoms! There will be a day when the children are more than just consumers and your load will lighten. Hope this #nofilter view of our vacation prompts some thoughts and conversations around your table that will help you vision and have realistic expectations about yours.
